I wish I could say that 2016 has been flying by, but for Conrad & I, it really hasn't. In fact, things couldn't have been any slower for us. I feel like a bus hit us the first week of January. Then the second week was a more raised, longer and heavier bus. Then the third week was an even more raised, way longer, heavier bus towing a trailer. The fourth week... well you get it. Every week I feel like something has been going on. We have both been SO busy and SO much has been going on. I have been trying not to count down the days until we cruise, which is 7 just incase you want to know, but obviously it hasn't worked. The last couple weeks have been nothing short of horrendous for us. I feel like when one bad thing happens, everything else does too. Because when it rains it pours right??
With our work scheduled, Conrad and I are lucky to see each other for an hour on some days. I swear his work schedule is beyond crazy sometimes. I have a lot of respect for nurses and everything that they do! I really don't think that I could ever stand a day in their shoes, let alone a few hours. After a highly stressfully week, we finally had a weekend with each other. I thought this would be such a fun weekend. We had Jackson Hole on the list along with a BYU Basketball game with Conrad's parents. It would be a relaxing and adventurous weekend right?? Wrong about relaxing. Really could not have been worse. Conrad and my brother, Tyler, went up snowboarding on Friday while I had some doctors appointments to go to. My friends, Payton, Shaylene and Maddie went with me to meet Conrad and Tyler in Driggs before heading up to Jackson for the Hockey games. Once we met them, we headed up. The hockey game was fun of course. Probably one of the best games I had been to in a while. I don't know what it is about hockey, but it is the funnest sport to watch. Eventually the game ended and we started to head home. It had been snowing all day but the snow on our car was way more than expected. We started up the pass, with Tyler's car behind us, and we started to slide. "We are not making it" I said in my head about three times. We just needed to get to the summit and the rest of the way would be downhill. But, we would make it a little farther before our car would start to slide again and we wouldn't go anywhere. After a few minutes, everyone got out of the car except Conrad and we started pushing. Four girls can't do too much, but I thought we were doing pretty good. We got the car going a little bit until it happened again. This time Maddie got into Tyers car and drove while Tyler helped push. This happened about three more times with at least 4 trucks passing us by that could easily pull us. I was beyond frustrated and a little scared. Well, a lot scared. I didn't know what to do. "We are not going to make it." We were SO close to the summit. SO CLOSE. After some really frustrating conversations, Payton, Shaylene and Maddie went with Tyler to go home. His car would be able to make it. We had a game to go to the next day in Utah. I called Conrad's mom to let her know we would not be doing what we had planned in Utah the next day because we weren't sure if we would make it out.
Conrad & I turned around and looked for any other way out of Jackson. The roads were all closed for the ways we wanted to go. So I started looking up hotels. Of course there was a dog sledding competition going on so EVERY hotel was booked out except two. The prices for those were $360 & $250. Nope. No way. I prayed and prayed for something to open up. I looked again and there was a really nice resort open for $86. I booked it so fast. We looked up directions and started heading that way. Of course, it was on the stupid mountain and our car wouldn't make it up. Extremely angry we turned around and realized that we would need to sleep in the car. We found a covered area and parked for the night. I didn't sleep at all. 3 am came around and all the snow plows were out. So we decided to try again. We headed up the pass and IT WAS CLOSED. The weather was still so rotten. We just kept praying. Finally, we found a way around Jackson Hole where the roads weren't closed and had just been plowed. It took us 4.5 hours to get home. But we got home. Thankfully. We didn't think the weekend could get worse than that. But it did.
We went to Provo the next day with Conrads parents and had a blast. Thankfully nothing wrong happened there and we were able to enjoy our time a little bit. Our stress levels had calmed down and everything was good. We went to Arco that Sunday and had dinner and watched a movie with his parents. Of course licorice, popcorn, m&ms were involved as well. I had been fighting off a sinus infection and a little cold. That cold had been passed onto Conrad and ever since then, things have been weird for him. With his dad being a Type 1 diabetic, we figured we would check his blood sugar. We weren't sure what the threshold on his glucometer was, but when Conrads blood sugar came back it said high, passing the threshold. That was a good sign that things weren't right. My stress level went all the way back up. (If there was a stress-meter, mine would read high.) Thankfully we were able to get some lab work done the next day. Things were not looking up and I kept telling myself, "his blood sugar is just high because of the junk food we ate while watching that movie." I kept coming up with excuses on things that could be wrong. Conrad couldn't have diabetes. There is no way. He is the healthiest person ever. But the way I cope with things is joking about it. I take after my mother in that aspect. I like the lighten the situation a little bit. I don't think Conrad appreciated that too much. This was the first time we've been through something like this. We didn't know how to react. All I could think of was, there has to be a cure. My poor husband!
I was even more upset about the situation because I felt like I couldn't catch a break. Was I doing something wrong in my life? Was it something he was eating? What could I have done differently to prevent this? I felt like a lot of it was my fault. Conrad got a blessing and I am almost positive it was more for me than him. We were able to get into an endocrinologist two days later which was a MIRACLE. Usually new patient visits were scheduled two weeks out, which would effect our cruise. I was so happy we got in. I knew that this was a blessing. Those next two days were horrible. All I did was pray he didn't had diabetes and hope it was a small problem we could fix. All Conrad did was worry about what he was eating and stress out. I tried to help but obviously failed. I understand where he was coming from, I just didn't know what to do to help him. I felt helpless! I wanted to cry ALL the time. & everytime I even teared up I would think that I was being dumb because its just diabetes. Modern medicine has made it so it is so easy to live life with it. But I didn't care. I was so sad for Conrad. I am usually the sick one. I didn't know how to cope or anything. Let alone I felt like everything bad was happening at the same time. But Conrad is amazing and he could handle anything. I just saw how bummed out he was and it hurt my heart. I have never been so desperate to cheer someone up. It was hard for me.
The doctors appointment came and Conrad definitely has diabetes. I was really hoping it wasn't true. He gave us a lot of information on Type 1 and it gave me a lot of hope. We went home and started on what the doctors gave us. I think we both were a little relieved to know what was going on but still a little shocked. I didn't realize how much it alters your life. But I was amazed and so grateful for the doctor we had and modern medicine. At my institute that night I must have looked a little stressed because a random girl said to me, "You look like you've had a long day." I looked at her and tried to laugh it off but instead my eyes teared up, I felt like sobbing but I just said, "its ok." I couldn't say anything else because I would choke up. I was so grateful in that moment where I felt like that girl knew I was having a hard time and just made a simple comment. I knew that was a simple answer to my prayer. We are SO lucky to live in a time where we can have answers and treatment at the tips of our fingers. So the last two weeks have been a roller coaster. I have cried more than I thought I would have. I have been more mad than I thought and I have also been very happy. I know that our Heavenly Father knows us and our situation. He knows what we are going through and what we need. He knows how to answer prayers and be the answer for someone else. I love the hope we are given in this life and the opportunity to test our faith. I love the times and trials where I can grow closer to my spouse and deepen my love for him.
Today being Valentines days, I am RELIEVED. I've mentioned a few times that we have our cruise. So we are on a tight budget until then. I have been so stressed about doing something special for Conrad for Valentines since its our first one married. I usually make something crafty but I am just so exhausted. I had about three really great plans...but all failed. I was going to surprise Conrad by taking him to Utah and seeing a movie at our fave movie theater. Failed. Work schedules got in the way. Then I was going to take him on a picnic up to Goldbug and just spend the day together. Failed. The surprise got ruined. Then I was going to make this really cool candy bouquet. Then he got diagnosed with diabetes. but... I didn't fail. I just added more protein and less candy than I thought to the bouquet and I was so happy. Conrad took me to see my chick flick, took me to dinner and made me breakfast in bed. I am beyond grateful for my husband and what he does for me. This year has started a little rough, but there is nothing that I can't handle with Conrad by my side :)
With our work scheduled, Conrad and I are lucky to see each other for an hour on some days. I swear his work schedule is beyond crazy sometimes. I have a lot of respect for nurses and everything that they do! I really don't think that I could ever stand a day in their shoes, let alone a few hours. After a highly stressfully week, we finally had a weekend with each other. I thought this would be such a fun weekend. We had Jackson Hole on the list along with a BYU Basketball game with Conrad's parents. It would be a relaxing and adventurous weekend right?? Wrong about relaxing. Really could not have been worse. Conrad and my brother, Tyler, went up snowboarding on Friday while I had some doctors appointments to go to. My friends, Payton, Shaylene and Maddie went with me to meet Conrad and Tyler in Driggs before heading up to Jackson for the Hockey games. Once we met them, we headed up. The hockey game was fun of course. Probably one of the best games I had been to in a while. I don't know what it is about hockey, but it is the funnest sport to watch. Eventually the game ended and we started to head home. It had been snowing all day but the snow on our car was way more than expected. We started up the pass, with Tyler's car behind us, and we started to slide. "We are not making it" I said in my head about three times. We just needed to get to the summit and the rest of the way would be downhill. But, we would make it a little farther before our car would start to slide again and we wouldn't go anywhere. After a few minutes, everyone got out of the car except Conrad and we started pushing. Four girls can't do too much, but I thought we were doing pretty good. We got the car going a little bit until it happened again. This time Maddie got into Tyers car and drove while Tyler helped push. This happened about three more times with at least 4 trucks passing us by that could easily pull us. I was beyond frustrated and a little scared. Well, a lot scared. I didn't know what to do. "We are not going to make it." We were SO close to the summit. SO CLOSE. After some really frustrating conversations, Payton, Shaylene and Maddie went with Tyler to go home. His car would be able to make it. We had a game to go to the next day in Utah. I called Conrad's mom to let her know we would not be doing what we had planned in Utah the next day because we weren't sure if we would make it out.
Conrad & I turned around and looked for any other way out of Jackson. The roads were all closed for the ways we wanted to go. So I started looking up hotels. Of course there was a dog sledding competition going on so EVERY hotel was booked out except two. The prices for those were $360 & $250. Nope. No way. I prayed and prayed for something to open up. I looked again and there was a really nice resort open for $86. I booked it so fast. We looked up directions and started heading that way. Of course, it was on the stupid mountain and our car wouldn't make it up. Extremely angry we turned around and realized that we would need to sleep in the car. We found a covered area and parked for the night. I didn't sleep at all. 3 am came around and all the snow plows were out. So we decided to try again. We headed up the pass and IT WAS CLOSED. The weather was still so rotten. We just kept praying. Finally, we found a way around Jackson Hole where the roads weren't closed and had just been plowed. It took us 4.5 hours to get home. But we got home. Thankfully. We didn't think the weekend could get worse than that. But it did.
We went to Provo the next day with Conrads parents and had a blast. Thankfully nothing wrong happened there and we were able to enjoy our time a little bit. Our stress levels had calmed down and everything was good. We went to Arco that Sunday and had dinner and watched a movie with his parents. Of course licorice, popcorn, m&ms were involved as well. I had been fighting off a sinus infection and a little cold. That cold had been passed onto Conrad and ever since then, things have been weird for him. With his dad being a Type 1 diabetic, we figured we would check his blood sugar. We weren't sure what the threshold on his glucometer was, but when Conrads blood sugar came back it said high, passing the threshold. That was a good sign that things weren't right. My stress level went all the way back up. (If there was a stress-meter, mine would read high.) Thankfully we were able to get some lab work done the next day. Things were not looking up and I kept telling myself, "his blood sugar is just high because of the junk food we ate while watching that movie." I kept coming up with excuses on things that could be wrong. Conrad couldn't have diabetes. There is no way. He is the healthiest person ever. But the way I cope with things is joking about it. I take after my mother in that aspect. I like the lighten the situation a little bit. I don't think Conrad appreciated that too much. This was the first time we've been through something like this. We didn't know how to react. All I could think of was, there has to be a cure. My poor husband!
I was even more upset about the situation because I felt like I couldn't catch a break. Was I doing something wrong in my life? Was it something he was eating? What could I have done differently to prevent this? I felt like a lot of it was my fault. Conrad got a blessing and I am almost positive it was more for me than him. We were able to get into an endocrinologist two days later which was a MIRACLE. Usually new patient visits were scheduled two weeks out, which would effect our cruise. I was so happy we got in. I knew that this was a blessing. Those next two days were horrible. All I did was pray he didn't had diabetes and hope it was a small problem we could fix. All Conrad did was worry about what he was eating and stress out. I tried to help but obviously failed. I understand where he was coming from, I just didn't know what to do to help him. I felt helpless! I wanted to cry ALL the time. & everytime I even teared up I would think that I was being dumb because its just diabetes. Modern medicine has made it so it is so easy to live life with it. But I didn't care. I was so sad for Conrad. I am usually the sick one. I didn't know how to cope or anything. Let alone I felt like everything bad was happening at the same time. But Conrad is amazing and he could handle anything. I just saw how bummed out he was and it hurt my heart. I have never been so desperate to cheer someone up. It was hard for me.
The doctors appointment came and Conrad definitely has diabetes. I was really hoping it wasn't true. He gave us a lot of information on Type 1 and it gave me a lot of hope. We went home and started on what the doctors gave us. I think we both were a little relieved to know what was going on but still a little shocked. I didn't realize how much it alters your life. But I was amazed and so grateful for the doctor we had and modern medicine. At my institute that night I must have looked a little stressed because a random girl said to me, "You look like you've had a long day." I looked at her and tried to laugh it off but instead my eyes teared up, I felt like sobbing but I just said, "its ok." I couldn't say anything else because I would choke up. I was so grateful in that moment where I felt like that girl knew I was having a hard time and just made a simple comment. I knew that was a simple answer to my prayer. We are SO lucky to live in a time where we can have answers and treatment at the tips of our fingers. So the last two weeks have been a roller coaster. I have cried more than I thought I would have. I have been more mad than I thought and I have also been very happy. I know that our Heavenly Father knows us and our situation. He knows what we are going through and what we need. He knows how to answer prayers and be the answer for someone else. I love the hope we are given in this life and the opportunity to test our faith. I love the times and trials where I can grow closer to my spouse and deepen my love for him.
Today being Valentines days, I am RELIEVED. I've mentioned a few times that we have our cruise. So we are on a tight budget until then. I have been so stressed about doing something special for Conrad for Valentines since its our first one married. I usually make something crafty but I am just so exhausted. I had about three really great plans...but all failed. I was going to surprise Conrad by taking him to Utah and seeing a movie at our fave movie theater. Failed. Work schedules got in the way. Then I was going to take him on a picnic up to Goldbug and just spend the day together. Failed. The surprise got ruined. Then I was going to make this really cool candy bouquet. Then he got diagnosed with diabetes. but... I didn't fail. I just added more protein and less candy than I thought to the bouquet and I was so happy. Conrad took me to see my chick flick, took me to dinner and made me breakfast in bed. I am beyond grateful for my husband and what he does for me. This year has started a little rough, but there is nothing that I can't handle with Conrad by my side :)